not felt this bad for a very long time. Now I'm down down down, in the depths of sadness. After dreams were one time given to me, a little bit. And now they are taken away. I'm so very bad. I'm not a right person. I'm not a good person. I don't deserve anything good. I have tried. And trying only gets me nowhere and makes me feel that I am less than everybody else. That I am not worth it. I am wrong. I am not good. I am shameful to others. I am a bad person. Noone likes me. No-one cares about me. I am not good. I am not clever. I do not deserve anything. I am just a slave. That just deserves to be used and hurt by others. All my thinking is wrong. All my dreams and thoughts of who I could be are wrong. I am not that useful. I am not respected. I am just a small piece of rubbish. I am sad. So sad. I feel I am a waste. A waste of time for others. There is nothing that I am good at. There is nothing people are thankful to me of. I am just useless. And I cannot be part of anything great in my life. I am such a let down to everyone. I do not deserve anything in this world. I understand. I am not good for anyone. I am trash, to be forgotten. Please just forget about me. I am useless. No-one loves me. I don't deserve anything. Nevermind, I know I don't appear well. I don't seem right. Everyone can see that there is something wrong with me. It is obvious. I am a failure to all the people who know me. I am not good enough. I just have to believe that. And know that. I am not good for this life or anything. I just need to pass away as soon as I can. I am not useful. I hate myself. People all hate me. I am a terrible person. It's all my fault. I should kill myself.

I should not be so sad. When you get knocked down, get back up again, and try another way. There is always another way. Focus on identity. Not: I am writing or painting. Instead: I am a writer or I am a painter. BEING, NOT DOING. Focus on systems not goals. E.g: Healthy eating and regular exercise, being that healthy person. Not heading towards it. Behave and think as though you are already living it.